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 Post subject: The new 42...
PostPosted: Sun Aug 25, 2019 4:05 pm 
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yappin' kitty
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Joined: Fri Mar 08, 2013 7:37 pm
Posts: 512
Location: Tucson,AZ
All the answers you'll ever need to get on in this world...

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
throws the milk away

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy
grows.
You sell them and retire on the income

ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption
for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
the cow has dropped dead.

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,
dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two cows.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three
cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and
market it worldwide.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive...


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 Post subject: Re: The new 42...
PostPosted: Sun Aug 25, 2019 7:54 pm 
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flirting kitty
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Joined: Tue Feb 05, 2013 11:25 pm
Posts: 2398
OMG, that might be the funniest (and truest) shit I have ever seen online. :lol: :lol: :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: The new 42...
PostPosted: Mon Aug 26, 2019 9:30 pm 
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lil' hucker

Joined: Wed Feb 18, 2015 11:20 pm
Posts: 1275
That's a good one, RC. There's room for perpetual expansion there, too

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 Post subject: Re: The new 42...
PostPosted: Tue Aug 27, 2019 12:40 pm 
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yappin' kitty
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Joined: Fri Mar 08, 2013 7:37 pm
Posts: 512
Location: Tucson,AZ
Banned so fast over at eMpTyBeeR it hardly had time to register :)


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 Post subject: Re: The new 42...
PostPosted: Tue Aug 27, 2019 11:56 pm 
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flirting kitty
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Joined: Tue Feb 05, 2013 11:25 pm
Posts: 2398
Bummer, that is a work of art if I have ever seen one.

I really don't get it. Politics are a part of everything, period. We don't necessarily have to make a conversation political but you can bet your ass that politics are tied in some how.

And religion. No talk of religion over there?! WTF?!! Religion is HUGE on a global basis.

That place truly is the anitchrist.


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 Post subject: Re: The new 42...
PostPosted: Wed Aug 28, 2019 6:12 pm 
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yappin' kitty
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Joined: Fri Mar 08, 2013 7:37 pm
Posts: 512
Location: Tucson,AZ
Yeah no sheisse! The thread was actually pretty funny and those that tried to derail and get serious were few and discouraged immediately! Just goes to show they live in fear over there :) I feel if there's going to be any banning or censorship anywhere, it should be when people get personally abusive, not because they are discussing how fuckked up religion and politics are...


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 Post subject: Re: The new 42...
PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2019 12:26 am 
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lil' hucker

Joined: Wed Feb 18, 2015 11:20 pm
Posts: 1275
Hawgzilla wrote:
Bummer, that is a work of art if I have ever seen one.

I really don't get it. Politics are a part of everything, period. We don't necessarily have to make a conversation political but you can bet your ass that politics are tied in some how.

And religion. No talk of religion over there?! WTF?!! Religion is HUGE on a global basis.

That place truly is the anitchrist.



You don't get it? Try listening to the various things that the POTUS belches out..
Plus, the Mods from SoCal are often cap-carrying MAGA fanboys...

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 Post subject: Re: The new 42...
PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2019 12:28 am 
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lil' hucker

Joined: Wed Feb 18, 2015 11:20 pm
Posts: 1275
Rockerc wrote:
Yeah no sheisse! The thread was actually pretty funny and those that tried to derail and get serious were few and discouraged immediately! Just goes to show they live in fear over there :) I feel if there's going to be any banning or censorship anywhere, it should be when people get personally abusive, not because they are discussing how fuckked up religion and politics are...



Just what we all need. A mtb forum that is fear-based. Perfect. 8-)

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 Post subject: Re: The new 42...
PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2019 12:38 am 
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flirting kitty
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Joined: Tue Feb 05, 2013 11:25 pm
Posts: 2398
Ray Dolor wrote:
Hawgzilla wrote:
Bummer, that is a work of art if I have ever seen one.

I really don't get it. Politics are a part of everything, period. We don't necessarily have to make a conversation political but you can bet your ass that politics are tied in some how.

And religion. No talk of religion over there?! WTF?!! Religion is HUGE on a global basis.

That place truly is the anitchrist.



You don't get it? Try listening to the various things that the POTUS belches out..
Plus, the Mods from SoCal are often cap-carrying MAGA fanboys...


What I meant was that we should be able to talk about anything in Off Camber since it's an off topic forum. ANYTHING. The place would be fun again with a little freedom.


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 Post subject: Re: The new 42...
PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2019 1:04 am 
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bad kitty!
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Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2013 11:22 am
Posts: 3276
Well, politics is one thing, but mostly it goes down the drain, when people start debating their imaginary friends, you know, that lives in the sky, and helps them sort out their miserable lives, that they can't bear taking responsibility for themselves.


Magura :D

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 Post subject: Re: The new 42...
PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2019 1:32 am 
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flirting kitty
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Joined: Tue Feb 05, 2013 11:25 pm
Posts: 2398
Magura wrote:
Well, politics is one thing, but mostly it goes down the drain, when people start debating their imaginary friends, you know, that lives in the sky, and helps them sort out their miserable lives, that they can't bear taking responsibility for themselves.


Magura :D


To me, that would be entertainment at it's finest. Let them fight! :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: The new 42...
PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2019 12:42 pm 
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yappin' kitty
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Joined: Fri Mar 08, 2013 7:37 pm
Posts: 512
Location: Tucson,AZ
Magura wrote:
Well, politics is one thing, but mostly it goes down the drain, when people start debating their imaginary friends, you know, that lives in the sky, and helps them sort out their miserable lives, that they can't bear taking responsibility for themselves.


Magura :D



Wait! You dissin' the Great Wahooni!!! Wahooni speaks to me all the time, and tells me the way forward! He is all-seeing, all-powerful, and has Ultramod powers!!! <falling to me knees>

I agree with hawg, Off Camber should be free and open, let the lunatics police thesselves :) The admins there are torn between allowing more latitude to up click counts, and censoring the richer content outright because it seems to offend their sensitivities... like many people in the 'real' world they get butthurt at mis-perceived slights or conversations they feel are contrary to what they believe. Mountain Biking for me was always the alternative occupation, and the people who enjoyed it also enjoyed some freedom of thought and latitude of opinion. eMrTyBeeR seem intent on an anodyne version of that so as not to offend the advertisers and to maximize revenues... working for the man :)


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 Post subject: Re: The new 42...
PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2019 12:45 pm 
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yappin' kitty
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Joined: Fri Mar 08, 2013 7:37 pm
Posts: 512
Location: Tucson,AZ
For the record now it too has gone to meet the Great Wahooni:


SNOWFLAKES
You have 2 goats.
You give one to your neighbor and feel warm and fuzzy.

BLOODY SNOWFLAKES
You have 2 goats.
The State takes both and gives you some milk

ALT-RIGHTER
You have 2 goats.
The State takes both and sells you some milk

ALTER-RIGHTER
You have 2 goats.
The State takes both and shoots you

PETTY BUREAUCRACY
You have 2 goats.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
throws the milk away

NORMAL GREED
You have two goats.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd doesn’t multiply, and the economy
tanks.
You sell them for a profit claiming they are both ‘special’ sheep

UBER-GREED
You have two ‘special’ sheep.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four ‘special’ sheep back, with a tax exemption
for five ‘special’ sheep.
The milk rights of the six ‘special’ sheep are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven ‘special’ sheep back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight ‘special’ sheep, with an option on one more. You sell one ‘special’ sheep to buy a new King, leaving you with nine ‘special’ sheep. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your giraffes.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
A panda makes his home in your bottom

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two goats.
You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four goats.
Later, you hire a team of consultants to analyse why
the goat has dropped dead.

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two goats. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,
dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two goats, but a lot of German ‘friends’

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two goats.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three
goats.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two goats.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary goat and produce
twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever goat cartoon image called a Goato Scroto and
market it worldwide.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two goats,
but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch and find the goats having a siesta under the table,
But you’re already having lunch so you leave them to it.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 goats. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them and induct them into the Swiss Army

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two goats.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high ruminant productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two goats.
You eat them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two goats.
Both are sent back to Europe because they are obviously not Britishers.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of goats.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no goats, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two goats.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two goats.
You’ve been out drinking with your Aussie mates and
the one on the left looks very sheeplike and rather attractive...


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 Post subject: Re: The new 42...
PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2019 2:24 pm 
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big hucker

Joined: Wed Jan 30, 2013 2:10 pm
Posts: 3449
Location: Cazadero Ca.
Actually the recycle bin is the new oc.

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 Post subject: Re: The new 42...
PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2019 6:35 pm 
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big hucker
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Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 12:52 am
Posts: 2676
Location: Front Range Colorado
norton55 wrote:
Actually the recycle bin is the new oc.


No, there’s still a secondary trash bin.


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 Post subject: Re: The new 42...
PostPosted: Fri Aug 30, 2019 3:46 am 
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big hucker

Joined: Wed Jan 30, 2013 2:10 pm
Posts: 3449
Location: Cazadero Ca.
The test forum?

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